Tag: #greatgrandparents #grandparents

Without hired care givers my sister and I would up the creek without a paddle. Hospice care does a lot but they don’t cover everything. We get a nurse visit once a week or if we call with a problem they can send one out. We are blessed to have a hospice provided home health aide that comes and does one change during the weekends. We knew immediately that we were going to have to hire a care giver.

It was not something I was looking forward to as I remember what a nightmare the process was with my granddaddy, my dad’s dad. Of course, a lot of our issues with the care givers were because he would be so rude to them they would just leave. He would consistently call them maid and yell and scream at them. Part of it had to do with the major stroke he had and part was that it was just his personality. I watched as my dad called agency after agency to find someone. We truly felt like we were being black listed. As soon as my dad would give his name suddenly, they didn’t have anyone available.

Fortunately, my sister is a health care social worker and knew which agencies were good and reminded me that Nana was a sweet pea and wouldn’t be any trouble to a caregiver. We get an agency to come out and talk to us. My sister and I work out a care giving schedule where we still do a bulk of the care giving to save money. Hired care is expensive and we are blessed that our grandparents worked for thirty years and got good pensions on top of their social security income. We are also blessed that our father offered to split the cost of the care for Nana with my grandfather. The first agency that we went with was ok at first and then progressively got worse. The would show up late for work without calling, not show up at all and of course the agency wouldn’t be able to send anyone else out.

One girl from this agency we had we felt like she wasn’t even changing Nana. I told my sister and in the morning while we were changing Nana we marked her diaper. Sure, enough later that evening when we were changing Nana for bed that same diaper was on her. That caregiver did nothing all day but sleep in the chair in my grandparent’s room. I was livid. I told my sister we need better care. Every time they were late or did a no call, no show I would have to step in and do what I could in between my work meetings. I reminded my sister that just because I was home all day didn’t mean that I wasn’t working. I have business meetings on skype, sometimes back to back meetings all day. I have deadlines on projects that I must meet. Super stressful!

We complained to the agency and things would get better for a bit and then the same old bad behaviors would start all over again. I was at my limit when Nana ended up going back to the hospital and then we had her do a stint in rehab because they felt like we would be able to get her to where she could stand and pivot. Which would be life changing for Nana because previously she was completely bed ridden.

When it was getting time for Nana to come home from rehab I told my sister we had to change agencies. I was done and she agreed with me. She found another agency and they came out to meet with us and we went over the type of care we needed. While still expensive they were a bit less expensive than the previous agency. This is when our angel came into our lives. We are blessed to have her everyday but Thursday’s. She is so attentive to my Nana and even looks out for Paw-Paw. My grandparents love her to pieces. Their faces light up when she walks into their room in the mornings. She even gets my Paw-Paw’s sometimes grumpy humor and gives it back to him. Nana loves her because she knows what she needs before she has to ask for it. If she notices something about Nana or a rash or anything she is quick to let us know about it.

When I am in meetings and cannot pop over when the hospice nurse does her visit, she makes sure to get Nana’s med order and supplies in. She will even text me from the other room to see if there is anything else we need. She has quickly become part of our family and we love her dearly! We are so blessed!

Do you have any hired care giver horror stories or a caregiver that you absolutely adore? Let us know! Share your store in the comments below!! Looking forward to reading them!

Nana promptly gets in a room in the ER. We quickly tell the nurses her history. By this time, we have it down pat. They get her hooked up to IVs, blood gets drawn and sent to the lab. They order a CT scan to check for the blockage. He heart is going in and out of a-fib, her blood pressure is low. Like not even life sustaining. A few hours later we finally get the results. She has a whopping UTI and an intestinal blockage. The ER doctor believes that they will be able to treat the blockage without having to have surgery. Which was one of our biggest fears. They get her started on IV antibiotics for her UTI and they put in an NG tube to pump out her stomach and help to correct her blockage. Every time they turn the suction on her blood pressure drops even lower. They tell us she needs to be on pressers to help keep her blood pressure up and that she will be moved to the ICU. We agree to the treatment, even if it means revoking hospice care. My sister says not to worry the treatment they are going to give Nana is not going to be invasive and even if we must drop hospice care we would be able to get back on service as part of her discharge plan due to the heart attacks she had a few days earlier.

Paw-Paw and I trust our sister’s judgement completely. She is a health care social worker so she knows all the ends and outs of navigating hospitals. We are blessed to have her. About 1 o’clock in the morning we decide to leave the hospital. Nana should be taken to ICU soon and we need sleep. We are at the front of the ER waiting on the valet to bring us the care. Suddenly someone from the hospital comes to get us. They say they need to speak with us. We go back into Nana’s room and the nurse practitioner in charge of the ICU is there, needing to speak to us.

He proceeds to tell us that Nana is critically ill and that there is no way the NG tube is going to correct her intestinal blockage. He tells us 100% she is going to need surgery but that given her weakened condition the odds of her making it out of surgery are slim to none. He said our other option is to take her back home with hospice and have them start aggressive care on her. In layman’s terms basically snow her with drugs until she passes away. We are in utter shock.   The ER doctor just told us that the NG tube would probably fix her blockage. He adamantly tells us no. Her ONLY option is surgery. He will not let us have a wait and see. He tells us he will not allow her to come to his ICU unless we agree to surgery. He said she needs surgery as soon as possible. He tells us he is not going to waste the surgeon’s time if we will not agree to surgery.

These options hit us like a ton of bricks. We were not expecting something like this at all. Nana is visibly upset. Paw-Paw is standing by her bedside shaking from this news. I just sit there with no emotion at all. I cannot believe what I am hearing and I feel dead inside. My sister, who normally is so stoic and strong starts crying. He goes back over the options again and again press us for an answer. We don’t know what to do. We are stuck. We all keep changing our minds on what to do. He tells us again surgery is the only way to fix her blockage and he wouldn’t be surprised if the surgeon came in tonight or first thing in the morning to operate on her. We ultimately leave the decision up to Nana. Nana tells us she is not ready to go. That she would miss us too much. That is when I start to lose it. So, the nurse practitioner tells us from what he is hearing Nana is choosing surgery. Nana says yes if that is my only hope, even if it’s a small one. My sister and I agree. We feel it would be better to lose her on the operating table than to take her home and have her just die a painful death. We all say surgery and he leaves the room. We kiss Nana goodbye and head to the car.

We are all shaking. Now it’s 3 o’clock in the morning. My sister drops Paw-Paw and I off at my house. She tells us she will be picking us up early in the morning to get to the hospital. We wanted to make sure we saw Nana before her surgery. I get Paw-Paw tucked into bed and tell him not to worry. That everything is going to be OK. I go into my bedroom. My son is sleeping on an air mattress on our floor since my mother in law is visiting and has his room. I think he is asleep. I go into the bathroom and my husband is getting ready for work.

He knows from the look on my face things are grave. I tell him what we are facing and then break into hysteria. I feel like the air is being sucked from my lungs, I am shaking, my anxiety is coming in on my chest. My husband just looks and me with tears in his eyes and tells me that everything will be ok. I know I must get it together. I must be strong but the thought of losing my very best friend in the whole world is too much for me. I tell my hubby I must get some sleep we must be back at the hospital in a few hours. I walk toward my bed. My son was up and heard everything I told my hubby. He jumps up and wraps his arms around me and starts crying which then starts me into a crying fit as well. Eventually we calm down. I tell him to go back to bed. I lay in my bed, with my clothes still on. I am too upset and too tired to change. I sob myself to sleep screaming a prayer to Jesus.

No phone calls over night so that is a good sign. We get to the hospital and find Nana in ICU. A caseworker from hospice is there. We get into Nana’s room and she tells us the surgeon is holding off on surgery. We will wait and see. I immediately get angry. I am thinking he doesn’t want to tell her that he won’t operate on her and is just keeping us waiting in the wings. I start to raise my voice and my sister pulls me out of the room. I tell her to get him back here. I am fired up and I am going to make him tell us there is nothing he can do for her and that we just need to bring her home. My mother’s cancer doctor did this to us. Told us she was going to be fine and we were going to start another round of chemo. It wasn’t until I went to his office to try and confront him that he sent another doctor from his practice to finally tell us there was nothing more that could be done. So much emotion comes over me.

Her ICU nurse must have heard me and she stepped out of the room. She told me that the reason why the surgeon said he was waiting on surgery is that he felt it wasn’t imminent and that her belly was soft and that he felt the NG tube was going to fix her issue. We were in complete shock. We told her that the nurse practitioner last night told us that surgery would be during the night or first thing this morning. That surgery was the only way. Her ICU nurse looked at us like we were crazy. My sister tells us that the only way he would admit her to his ICU was if we agreed to surgery. I am briefly filled with relief but that is quickly replaced with more anger. That nurse practitioner lied to us. If we would have listened to him and brought Nana home that night she would have died. More than likely that night because she couldn’t maintain her blood pressure without pressers.

I tell my sister we need to immediately file a report with the ethics board on him. That was not right what he did to us. She agreed but tells me we will file a complaint after Nana is released. I agreed. Nana stays in the hospital a week and gets better. She even starts talking more than she has in 2 years. We get her back on hospice services and she comes home a lot better than when she went in. I think God for looking out for us and for guiding us with the right decision for Nana.

The Thursday before the 4^th of July weekend Nana started having another cardiac event. Nothing is ever text book with Nana so usually by the time she has these events and we have reported them to hospice she is over them and back to her new normal by the time the nurse comes. This time her cardiac event started right when her hospice nurse came to visit during the week.

I was working in my office and I saw our hospice nurse walking up for her weekly visit. I usually take a break during this time so I can attend the visit. This is where she will check Nana’s vitals and ask if we have any concerns and order her supplies and medicine for the week. By the time I get over to Nana’s room her nurse is at her bedside. Nana is pale, feeling weak and sweat is rolling down her face. I tell her nurse this is what happens when she starts a cardiac event. We assume she is just going in and out of a-fib but this time around it lasts longer and Nana starts complaining of chest pain. We have one of the best hospice nurse there is and she immediately jumps into action. We start giving Nana medicine for the pain and try to calm her down. I am so glad that this event happened in front of our hospice nurse so that she could see and understand what my sister and I see sometimes. Nana gets over this event and we are thinking she had another heart attack because she was complaining of chest pain this time. Our hospice nurse orders more meds for Nana and we work out a new plan in case this happens again.

Shortly after our hospice nurse leaves Nana starts having another event. Breaking out in sweat and going in and out of a-fib. I call hospice and request a nurse to come out. Paw-Paw is freaking out and wanting to rush her to the hospital which would have been rough on Nana and they would be doing the same treatment we can do at home. They get a nurse to come out and I run to the pharmacy to pick up the nitro glycerin tablets her regular hospice nurse had ordered. My sister and her husband, also a hospice nurse makes it to the house to help calm Paw-Paw’s fears.

We give her the glycerin and more pain meds and get her calmed down. The on-call hospice nurse shows up and helps us as well. Nana has a pretty uneventful night. In the morning, I run over to check on her. She is sleeping so deeply it looks like she has passed away in her sleep. I then see her chest rising and her hand is still doing a circular motion. I gently touch her shoulder and her eyes pop open. I ask her how she is feeling and if she is in any pain. She says she is ok and not in pain. She is just tired. I let her go back to sleep.

The hospice HHA comes over and gets her cleaned up, dressed and out of the bed. When we get back from the grocery store she is sitting in her green chair. Still weak but doing ok. I give her morning pills to her and as soon as they hit her stomach she throws them up. She is keeping nothing down. I make another call to hospice and another on call nurse comes on. She checks Nana’s vitals and we give her some anti-nausea medicine, which of course she throws up as soon as it hits her stomach. I had some suppository type of anti-nausea meds we had from last time so we give her one and wait and see. She settles in and goes to sleep. The rest of the night is uneventful. She is even able to keep some water down so I am thinking the tide is turning in the right direction. Wishful thinking!

The next morning Paw-Paw fixes them each a cup of coffee. I go in a little bit later and Nana has thrown up. I sit her back up in bed, kiss her forehead and get her cleaned up. Which is hard for me to do because I cannot tolerate throw up. If I hear someone throwing up I will start throwing up as well. It’s the only thing that I cannot tolerate. I give Nana another anti-nausea suppository and soon she settles down and goes to sleep. Hospice HHA comes over and gives her a good bath, dresses her and gets her out of bed. She does ok for a bit. Keeping some food and water down.

Dinner is ready so I tell Paw-Paw let’s just give her some rice with a little bit of gravy to see if she can keep it down. As we are walking in to the living room to give it to her she starts throwing up exorcist style. Her throw up is brown and it smells like poop. My heart sinks because now I am certain she has a bowl obstruction. I recognize this symptom because my mom had the same thing from all the years she was on chemo. I take a picture of the bucket of throw up and text it to my brother-in-law. Tell him what it smells like. He said call hospice and report it that yes it probably was a bowl obstruction and that we were going to have to send her to the hospital.

Sure, enough that is what the on-call hospice doctor tells us to do. As this isn’t something they will be able to treat. I tell my Paw-Paw what is going to happen and he agrees. Nana does too so off I go to call 911. My son goes I know the drill I will go get the ambulance from the road. I change into jeans because I always freeze in hospitals. I grab my sweater and then go grab all of Nana’s meds in a cosmetic bag because I know those lists of medications are coming.

The ambulance comes, we tell them what hospital to go to. Paw-Paw and I ride with her in the ambulance and my sister meets us at the hospital. Nothing could have prepared us for the news we were about to hear. Nothing…. To be continued…