Without hired care givers my sister and I would up the creek without a paddle. Hospice care does a lot but they don’t cover everything. We get a nurse visit once a week or if we call with a problem they can send one out. We are blessed to have a hospice provided home health aide that comes and does one change during the weekends. We knew immediately that we were going to have to hire a care giver.
It was not something I was looking forward to as I remember what a nightmare the process was with my granddaddy, my dad’s dad. Of course, a lot of our issues with the care givers were because he would be so rude to them they would just leave. He would consistently call them maid and yell and scream at them. Part of it had to do with the major stroke he had and part was that it was just his personality. I watched as my dad called agency after agency to find someone. We truly felt like we were being black listed. As soon as my dad would give his name suddenly, they didn’t have anyone available.
Fortunately, my sister is a health care social worker and knew which agencies were good and reminded me that Nana was a sweet pea and wouldn’t be any trouble to a caregiver. We get an agency to come out and talk to us. My sister and I work out a care giving schedule where we still do a bulk of the care giving to save money. Hired care is expensive and we are blessed that our grandparents worked for thirty years and got good pensions on top of their social security income. We are also blessed that our father offered to split the cost of the care for Nana with my grandfather. The first agency that we went with was ok at first and then progressively got worse. The would show up late for work without calling, not show up at all and of course the agency wouldn’t be able to send anyone else out.
One girl from this agency we had we felt like she wasn’t even changing Nana. I told my sister and in the morning while we were changing Nana we marked her diaper. Sure, enough later that evening when we were changing Nana for bed that same diaper was on her. That caregiver did nothing all day but sleep in the chair in my grandparent’s room. I was livid. I told my sister we need better care. Every time they were late or did a no call, no show I would have to step in and do what I could in between my work meetings. I reminded my sister that just because I was home all day didn’t mean that I wasn’t working. I have business meetings on skype, sometimes back to back meetings all day. I have deadlines on projects that I must meet. Super stressful!
We complained to the agency and things would get better for a bit and then the same old bad behaviors would start all over again. I was at my limit when Nana ended up going back to the hospital and then we had her do a stint in rehab because they felt like we would be able to get her to where she could stand and pivot. Which would be life changing for Nana because previously she was completely bed ridden.
When it was getting time for Nana to come home from rehab I told my sister we had to change agencies. I was done and she agreed with me. She found another agency and they came out to meet with us and we went over the type of care we needed. While still expensive they were a bit less expensive than the previous agency. This is when our angel came into our lives. We are blessed to have her everyday but Thursday’s. She is so attentive to my Nana and even looks out for Paw-Paw. My grandparents love her to pieces. Their faces light up when she walks into their room in the mornings. She even gets my Paw-Paw’s sometimes grumpy humor and gives it back to him. Nana loves her because she knows what she needs before she has to ask for it. If she notices something about Nana or a rash or anything she is quick to let us know about it.
When I am in meetings and cannot pop over when the hospice nurse does her visit, she makes sure to get Nana’s med order and supplies in. She will even text me from the other room to see if there is anything else we need. She has quickly become part of our family and we love her dearly! We are so blessed!
Do you have any hired care giver horror stories or a caregiver that you absolutely adore? Let us know! Share your store in the comments below!! Looking forward to reading them!
Daily Elder Care 
I was a live -in caregiver for 6 years. One day I got an emergency call that an elderly man with dementia was found wandering down by the pond a block from his house in his pajamas and the windchill was -25. I agreed to go out and ended up staying 3 1/2 yrs. His wife also had dementia but hers progressed at a different pace than his. They became like family to me and their family did too! In fact when their extended family sent flowers on Mother’s Day to Aunt Millie, they enclosed a plant for me as well! It was a tough, tough job with both people having dementia but I cared for both of them until they passed away with the help of hospice. I worked 3 24- hr shifts in a row and then there were other caregivers there when I wasn’t. I have to say most of my coworkers were the best people I ever met in my life even though the agency I worked for underpaid and took advantage of us. A lot of my coworkers were also in their 50s and 60s and that was great because we were extremely reliable and able to empathize with aging folks because we were aging ourselves. So when you get a good caregiver- love them and cherish them.
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Thanks Mary Beth for sharing your caregiving story. It is angels like you that make caring for our loved ones so much easier. You are right. We adore our current caregiver. She is such a major part of our family!
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