Nana promptly gets in a room in the ER. We quickly tell the nurses her history. By this time, we have it down pat. They get her hooked up to IVs, blood gets drawn and sent to the lab. They order a CT scan to check for the blockage. He heart is going in and out of a-fib, her blood pressure is low. Like not even life sustaining. A few hours later we finally get the results. She has a whopping UTI and an intestinal blockage. The ER doctor believes that they will be able to treat the blockage without having to have surgery. Which was one of our biggest fears. They get her started on IV antibiotics for her UTI and they put in an NG tube to pump out her stomach and help to correct her blockage. Every time they turn the suction on her blood pressure drops even lower. They tell us she needs to be on pressers to help keep her blood pressure up and that she will be moved to the ICU. We agree to the treatment, even if it means revoking hospice care. My sister says not to worry the treatment they are going to give Nana is not going to be invasive and even if we must drop hospice care we would be able to get back on service as part of her discharge plan due to the heart attacks she had a few days earlier.
Paw-Paw and I trust our sister’s judgement completely. She is a health care social worker so she knows all the ends and outs of navigating hospitals. We are blessed to have her. About 1 o’clock in the morning we decide to leave the hospital. Nana should be taken to ICU soon and we need sleep. We are at the front of the ER waiting on the valet to bring us the care. Suddenly someone from the hospital comes to get us. They say they need to speak with us. We go back into Nana’s room and the nurse practitioner in charge of the ICU is there, needing to speak to us.
He proceeds to tell us that Nana is critically ill and that there is no way the NG tube is going to correct her intestinal blockage. He tells us 100% she is going to need surgery but that given her weakened condition the odds of her making it out of surgery are slim to none. He said our other option is to take her back home with hospice and have them start aggressive care on her. In layman’s terms basically snow her with drugs until she passes away. We are in utter shock. The ER doctor just told us that the NG tube would probably fix her blockage. He adamantly tells us no. Her ONLY option is surgery. He will not let us have a wait and see. He tells us he will not allow her to come to his ICU unless we agree to surgery. He said she needs surgery as soon as possible. He tells us he is not going to waste the surgeon’s time if we will not agree to surgery.
These options hit us like a ton of bricks. We were not expecting something like this at all. Nana is visibly upset. Paw-Paw is standing by her bedside shaking from this news. I just sit there with no emotion at all. I cannot believe what I am hearing and I feel dead inside. My sister, who normally is so stoic and strong starts crying. He goes back over the options again and again press us for an answer. We don’t know what to do. We are stuck. We all keep changing our minds on what to do. He tells us again surgery is the only way to fix her blockage and he wouldn’t be surprised if the surgeon came in tonight or first thing in the morning to operate on her. We ultimately leave the decision up to Nana. Nana tells us she is not ready to go. That she would miss us too much. That is when I start to lose it. So, the nurse practitioner tells us from what he is hearing Nana is choosing surgery. Nana says yes if that is my only hope, even if it’s a small one. My sister and I agree. We feel it would be better to lose her on the operating table than to take her home and have her just die a painful death. We all say surgery and he leaves the room. We kiss Nana goodbye and head to the car.
We are all shaking. Now it’s 3 o’clock in the morning. My sister drops Paw-Paw and I off at my house. She tells us she will be picking us up early in the morning to get to the hospital. We wanted to make sure we saw Nana before her surgery. I get Paw-Paw tucked into bed and tell him not to worry. That everything is going to be OK. I go into my bedroom. My son is sleeping on an air mattress on our floor since my mother in law is visiting and has his room. I think he is asleep. I go into the bathroom and my husband is getting ready for work.
He knows from the look on my face things are grave. I tell him what we are facing and then break into hysteria. I feel like the air is being sucked from my lungs, I am shaking, my anxiety is coming in on my chest. My husband just looks and me with tears in his eyes and tells me that everything will be ok. I know I must get it together. I must be strong but the thought of losing my very best friend in the whole world is too much for me. I tell my hubby I must get some sleep we must be back at the hospital in a few hours. I walk toward my bed. My son was up and heard everything I told my hubby. He jumps up and wraps his arms around me and starts crying which then starts me into a crying fit as well. Eventually we calm down. I tell him to go back to bed. I lay in my bed, with my clothes still on. I am too upset and too tired to change. I sob myself to sleep screaming a prayer to Jesus.
No phone calls over night so that is a good sign. We get to the hospital and find Nana in ICU. A caseworker from hospice is there. We get into Nana’s room and she tells us the surgeon is holding off on surgery. We will wait and see. I immediately get angry. I am thinking he doesn’t want to tell her that he won’t operate on her and is just keeping us waiting in the wings. I start to raise my voice and my sister pulls me out of the room. I tell her to get him back here. I am fired up and I am going to make him tell us there is nothing he can do for her and that we just need to bring her home. My mother’s cancer doctor did this to us. Told us she was going to be fine and we were going to start another round of chemo. It wasn’t until I went to his office to try and confront him that he sent another doctor from his practice to finally tell us there was nothing more that could be done. So much emotion comes over me.
Her ICU nurse must have heard me and she stepped out of the room. She told me that the reason why the surgeon said he was waiting on surgery is that he felt it wasn’t imminent and that her belly was soft and that he felt the NG tube was going to fix her issue. We were in complete shock. We told her that the nurse practitioner last night told us that surgery would be during the night or first thing this morning. That surgery was the only way. Her ICU nurse looked at us like we were crazy. My sister tells us that the only way he would admit her to his ICU was if we agreed to surgery. I am briefly filled with relief but that is quickly replaced with more anger. That nurse practitioner lied to us. If we would have listened to him and brought Nana home that night she would have died. More than likely that night because she couldn’t maintain her blood pressure without pressers.
I tell my sister we need to immediately file a report with the ethics board on him. That was not right what he did to us. She agreed but tells me we will file a complaint after Nana is released. I agreed. Nana stays in the hospital a week and gets better. She even starts talking more than she has in 2 years. We get her back on hospice services and she comes home a lot better than when she went in. I think God for looking out for us and for guiding us with the right decision for Nana.
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