In the days that followed after Nana was brought to my house on hospice care was quite a learning experience for me. My only other experience with hospice care was when we brought our mom home on it. I naively thought we would have around the clock care covered by hospice. My sister was quick to correct me in that belief.
We would have a nurse that comes out once a week to check on Nana. Order us supplies and her meds. We would still have to be responsible to ensure she takes her meds, eats, gets bathed and of course have her diapers changed. The diaper changing, at first threw me for a loop. I told my sister I have no idea how to change an adult diaper. It’s not like changing a baby’s diaper where you can just lift their legs! My sister said, very matter of flatly, that she did not know either but that the hospice nurse would teach us.
My sister’s grace and confidence really pulled me through these first couple of days. I was very overwhelmed and had no confidence I would be able to do it. My sister lifted me up and gave me encouragement. It helped and sure enough, after a few days we were really getting the hang of it.
We also had to figure out how we were going to get care for Nana during the week. Both my sister and I work full time jobs and we have young children. We sit down with my Paw-Paw and our dad to discuss this. My sister said we needed an in-home health agency to come in. My sister tells us this is going to be a bit costly. My sister suggests that we can cover some morning times and of course the evening time. This will help keep some cost down. I agree and we work out a schedule. My dad graciously agrees to pay for half of Nana’s care to help my grandparents out. The love and selflessness of my daddy knows no bounds. These are my mom’s parents, not his.
We get an agency in and off we go. It was tricky to adjust to our new normal but we did it. It helps I can work remotely from home and that my sister only lives 1.5 miles away from me. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday she comes over before work and we change Nana. Then every night, 7 days a week she comes over and helps me put her to bed. Yes, we sacrifice a lot to be able to take care of them. I don’t know many grandkids who would be willing to take care of their grandparents like my sister and I do. We both feel like it is an honor and a privilege to be able to care for them. Our grandparents are good people. They have been married for 66 years and they have been a part of our lives since the day my sister and I were born. In all my 39 years on earth I cannot recall a time when they were not there. Holiday’s, birthday’s, going back to school clothes shopping, family vacations, high school graduations, college graduations, birth of our children. There wasn’t one moment in our lives they missed! Even when I moved to North Carolina in my early twenties we were still close. I would call Nana every day. One of our favorite tv shows back then was Frasier. I would call them on the phone and we would watch the show together. Catching up during the TV commercials. My grandparents are truly my best friends. It’s not fair to them that they lost their ONLY child to cancer. They had to sit and watch my mom die lying in a hospice bed. They had to watch her take her last breath. No parent should ever have to watch their child die. Its heart wrenching but they got through it with love and grace. There literally isn’t anything my sister and I wouldn’t do for them.
Daily Elder Care 