Or so we thought! By the time I got to the rehab center my sister had a hospice consult setup to come out. Nana looked like she was barely hanging on. We didn’t even know if she would make it home on hospice. Getting her admitted to hospice was easy, given Nana’s condition. We decide that she will be taken home on hospice to my house. Paw-Paw was a little hesitant but once we explained all the care we were going to have to give Nana he realized it was for the best. Filling out that hospice paperwork was heart wrenching for us. We had to sign a DNR and agree to stop her Warfarin. My sister and I agonized over this decision. Is this really what we should do? Should we just send her back to the hospital? We ultimately agree, with Paw-Paw that this is the right decision. Bring her home and take care of and love on her for her remaining time on earth.
My sister left the rehab center so that she could make sure all the equipment we would need for Nana would be setup and ready to go. I also think she needed a quick reprieve from the current situation. It was so sad and overwhelming to see what was once such a strong woman, weak and on her death bed. A woman whom we love more than life itself!
I stay back with Paw-Paw to ensure he is ok and to see that Nana gets picked up. At this point in time we are thinking maybe we have a few days to a week left with Nana. My sister makes sure all the kids are at my house when Nana arrives. We get her in the house and in the hospital bed hospice has provided. We flood the tiny room to be with her. Paw-Paw is in there, me and my sister, our three kids, our husbands, even our Daddy comes in.
Suddenly Nana starts to wake up and stay awake! She is smiling so big because she is home and surrounded by her loved ones. We put the kids front and center. They adore their Nana, especially my son. He is the oldest great grand and they have had such a bond since the day he was born. Much like the bond I have with her. She is holding up her weak little arms, asking for hugs from them. They greatly oblige. It really was a miracle. This was the most she has given us in over a week. We stay in the room with her to well past 10:00pm. We don’t want to leave her. My sister and I walk out of the room and I tell her that it is so amazing that Nana is bouncing back. My sister looks at me with tears in her eyes and said this could just be a rally. I looked at her confused. She explained that a rally is when someone is on their death bed they rally back so they can say goodbye, right before they pass.
We go back in the room and start tucking Nana and Paw-Paw in bed. It is getting late and the kids are getting tired. We give Nana a hug and a kiss, tell her we love her and that we will see her in the morning. That was the hardest thing we ever had to do. We both thought she was going to pass away in her sleep. We really thought she had just given us a rally.
I woke up early the next morning. I wanted to get up before my son. My son has such a close and strong bond with my grandparents. I have caught him multiple mornings up before me and in their room talking to them. My biggest fear is that he will run to do that and find his Nana dead. Fortunately, this morning he is still asleep. I start walking toward their room. I say a little prayer and walk in. Nana is still sleeping and I gently touch her shoulder. She wakes up and gives me the biggest grin and says good morning darling! The color is back in her face, her hands are warm. I ask her if I can bring her anything and she asked for a cup of coffee. Paw-Paw chimes up from his bed that he will take a cup as well.
Over the course of the next couple of days and weeks Nana gets a bit stronger. She is staying awake more and isn’t in any pain. It truly was a miracle. It is also when we realize the true extent of the care she is going to need. At this point she is completely bed bound and incontinent. The strokes she had left her pretty much paralyzed on her right side. She can still use her right arm a bit but not her legs. Paw-Paw starts asking my sister and I when we can get Nana home. In his eyes, she is getting better. We tell Paw-Paw that them being able to go back home is no longer an option. Nana needs around the clock care. Its care that he cannot give her. This hits him like a ton of bricks. Remember a few blog posts ago I mentioned that I had prayed to God to make my grandparents realize that they needed to move in with me? Well, Nana always said to be careful what you prayed for. Yes, I wanted them to move in with me so I could take care of them but I didn’t mean for it to be with Nana in the condition that she is in. I wanted it to be before her UTI and strokes. Where she could still get around and we could continue to go places. I should have known that the only way they would have agreed to move in is if one of them could no longer take care of themselves or each other.
Daily Elder Care 